


How Far We'll Go

by Indigo_Penstrokes



Series: Modern Newsies [7]
Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eating Disorders, I'm Sorry, M/M, it has a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 16:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11467428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indigo_Penstrokes/pseuds/Indigo_Penstrokes
Summary: A quiet night in suddenly becomes much more than either boy could have anticipated.There might come a day where I can summarize and not write rarepairs, but today is not that day. So please just give it a chance?





	How Far We'll Go

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,  
> If you're here because this is part of my series, great amazing, sorry I've been away. If not I'm still glad you're here.  
> Here's a rather important disclaimer, there is bulimia in this fic and if that bothers you please don't risk yourself over a tiny stupid fic alright? Alright.  
> With that said, enjoy.

“Can we order a pizza, I'm starving.” Swifty cracks his neck as the end credits for Moana roll. 

“Sure,” Skittery says ignoring how his stomach flips uncomfortably at the thought of food. “You're buying though.” 

“Whatever,” Swift pulls out his phone. Standing up he places their usual order of a half supreme and half cheese pizza. 

“Pizza’ll be here in ten. Whaddya want to do in the meantime?” He flops back down on the couch, resting his head on Skitts’ shoulder. 

“I dunno,” Skittery keeps scrolling through Twitter. Only looking up when Swifty presses a kiss to his jaw.  
“Why do you pay more attention to your newsfeed than you're amazing boyfriend?” Swifty gives Skitts a dopey grin making his best puppy dog eyes. 

“You're lucky you're cute.” He tosses his phone onto the floor and pecks his boyfriend on the forehead. 

“Aw, c'mon Alec, I know you've got more than that, we've also got ten minutes to kill.” Swifty waggles his eyebrows at Skitts, who hits him with one of the couches many throw pillows. 

“Shut up.” He catches the pillow thrown back at him. 

“Make me.” Swifty smirks. 

Skittery shuts him up for the rest of the ten minutes. 

The doorbell rings making both boys groan as a disheveled Swifty gets up to answer the door. 

“You owe me on this.” He sets the box down on the kitchen counter. 

“You love me.” Skitts kisses his boyfriend as he grabs a slice of pizza.  
The two eat most of the large pizza. 

“What movie do you want to watch next?” Swifty asks as he sets his plate in the sink alongside Skittery’s. 

“You can pick, I gotta go use the bathroom.” Swifty thinks it odd when Skitts heads upstairs instead of using the bathroom on the bottom floor. 

“Alright, I won't start without you.” He heads over to queues up the movie from Netflix. 

It's when Swifty has had the movie ready to play for almost ten minutes he knows something is wrong. He takes the stairs two at a time as he goes up. 

He knocks on the bathroom door. “Skitts are you alright in there?” 

A muffled clunk sounds from inside. “Yeah, I'm fine.” Except his voice is strained and broken. 

“Alec, I've been your best friend for nine years, I know when you're lying.” Swifty tries the door knob, it's locked. 

No reply comes from the other side of the door. Swifty grabs the key from above the door frame. 

“Alec, I'm gonna come in.” He pushes the door open slowly, preparing himself for what lays beyond the door. 

Nothing could've prepared Swifty for what he sees before him. 

Skittery is in the floor, his knees on either side of the toilet. His face red and streaked with tears. His right hand resting on top of the closed lid, the other sitting in his lap. He hangs his head, his brown hair falling over his face. Skittery doesn't even have his blue sweatshirt on and Swifty can almost count the number of his boyfriend's ribs as they form small dips and valleys in his skin. 

“I told you I'm fine.” He still sounds anything but fine. “Just, just please leave?” 

“No. I'm not leaving you.” Swifty steps closer to Skitts, kneeling down once he makes it over. “I love you,why are you doing this?” 

Skittery lets out a bark of humorless laughter. It scares Swifty into backing up a bit.

“You want to know why I do this? Well here's why. Dance.” He takes a deep breath. “Do you know what it's like to one day realize that no matter how hard you work you'll never be as good as the guys you've dance with for years? To have it hit you like a train that you'll never be as good as them? That you'll never even look the part like they do? That you can never have technique as good as Specs or be as in shape as Mush or be looked up to like Boots, do you know how fucking hard it is to be in their shadows all the time?” 

Swifty just stares in shock at the sheer anger pouring off his friend. 

“No I didn't think you did. I blamed it all on me, my lack of everything. And you know what's the worst part is? The worst part out of all of this is that no one noticed the bad. When those numbers on that scale started to get smaller and smaller people noticed at dance. I was nailing more jumps, was getting higher on my leaps, I wasn't falling out of turns as often. None of them knew that at every practice I was starving, that I hadn't eaten before I came. They didn't know that even after I ate I would go shove my fingers down my throat so it wouldn't coast me the progress I've made. And once they started to notice the good and I saw that number slowly go down I was happy. It's so fucking sick, but I was happy I was getting better.” He gasps for air between the angry tears running down his face.  
“And do you know the thing that hurts the most Lewis? You never even began to realize how fucked up I am. You claim to know when I'm lying, but I've been lying to you about this for months. And you. Never. Noticed.” He spits out the latest words, watching as they cut through Swifty. 

Tears of his own fall down his face as Swifty utters out three simple words. “I'm so sorry.” 

“Yeah, me too.” All of the anger has drained out of him, leaving only a shaking, exhausted mess in its wake. “I'm sorry you had to see that, you should really just go now. Break up with me since I know it was bound to happen once you found out.” 

Swifty crawls over to his boyfriend, who's now clutching his knees to his chest. Grabbing the discarded blue pull over he gets closer.

“I would never ever leave you.” He slips the sweatshirt over Alec's head. Slowly he gets one arm into a sleeve and then the other. He then is holding Skitts as close as he possibly can. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, Lewis.” Skitts sobs into his chest, “I love you so much and I'm so sorry you got stuck with a fucked up bulimic like me.” 

“I didn't get stuck with you. Don't you ever think that. I chose you and I will always choose you, no matter what.” He rests his cheek on the top of Skittery's head. “And I'll help you through this, I promise.” 

“Okay,” The smaller boy presses closer. “I'll do my best to get through this.” 

They sit like that for an unmeasurable amount of time, both wrapped up in the other, not ready to face the world around them. 

“Hey,” Swifty softly ruffles Skittery's hair, “do you want to go watch the movie?” 

Skittery sleepily nods into his chest. 

“Okay then, I'm going to carry you to the couch. Is that alright?” He earns another small nod. 

Swifty carries Skitts back down the stairs, really noticing how light he is. The two make it to the couch where Swifty grabs a few blankets and starts the movie. 

“I'm still sorry you saw me like that.” Skittery glances up at him from where he is snuggled up against the other boy. 

“Maybe it's a good thing that it happened and that it was me and not someone else. And like I said I'll help you through it.” He presses a kiss to Alec's forehead. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

The pair falls asleep before the end credits even begin to roll, both at peace in each other's company.

**Author's Note:**

> As always constructive criticism is always loved along side kudos and comments, so please share your thoughts.


End file.
